Wednesday, August 27, 2008

getting better!!

For the last few weeks I have been feeling rather bad for myself and have had a rather bad attitude about being pregnant. I was SO happy when I found out that we were expecting, that only lasted about a week though. The nausea set in, the puking began and the extreme fatigue started to take over my life. I have somewhat of a recollection of this happening last time, although it started much earlier and was much worse. I have been stewing for the past few weeks about the meaning of life. I have been asking myself, "I go to work, I come home and I go to bed. Then I do it all again the next day. Whats the point?". I know, super bad attitude. This week I came into work to find a sign taped to my computer screen that was basically a word of advice from my friends to buck up. Of course I was annoyed at first but then began to realize that I am taking this much to seriously. The meaning of life is whatever we make it!!! The answer came to me today! My growing fetus and my 2 year old child are unique and special individuals that will only be conceived and born ONE time! They will only live this life ONE time! Its my responsibility (and one I should be grateful for) to raise them the best I can so that they can experience what life is all about. I imagine that one day my little Shelby will come to me when she is 9 weeks pregnant and sick as a dog and ask me "what is the meaning of life?". And I will say to her, "you are the meaning of life, my children are the meaning of life". And hopefully with that answer the puking and the nausea will seem insignificant, if only for a moment. I have gotten way to wrapped up in how I feel lately, which may be hormonal, and have forgotten that this is an experience I should treasure. As long as I have people that support me and tell me everything will be alright, I will believe it ;)