Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Current Pics!!!!!

Shelby was completely enthralled with the Blues Clues movie she was watching on the long drive home from SLC. Dont worry, she snapped out of it and we played in her pool when we got home! Just want everyone to know that i have lost 35 pounds since Shelby was born!! Woot woot!! I'm very proud of myself, I go to the gym 2-3 times a week!! If you are wondering why there are no pictures of Gary on here recently that is because he is a butt and wont let me take his picture - like are we in junior high or what?? ;)

Memorial Day Tribute to Daddy

Memorial Day has historically been a bad day for me. This year was a little different because my family has changed so much. My little Shelby is now over 2 and her big blue eyes remind me of him everyday. She carries his picture around the house and seems to know what I am talking about when I say his name. Its amazing how close children are to the spirit world. We visited the cemetary like we do every year and took pictures, they will be posted as soon as I pull them off my camera. This year Memorial Day brought a new perspective to my life. I realized that I needed to step back and look at "the big picture", meaning that I needed to think of every day as if it were my last. The song that best describes how I felt is Tim McGraw's "Live like you were dying". I also heard Reba's "The greatest man I never knew" and this brought me to tears thinking of how my dad worked up until the day he died. Oh how I wish I could have one more day on this earth with him, but since that is not possible I have started to make an effort to mend my relationships so that in the event that I leave early, things will be in order. Once someone you dearly love in your life dies you gain a new perspective as to what is most important in life, it has taken me 10 years and I continue to learn every day. My anger at him for leaving has changed to a feeling of happiness that he does not have to be a part of this evil world that continues to get worse and worse. I read a scripture the other day that stated something to the effect that the spirits of the spirit world are around us, they feel our pain, they feel our sadness and see our mistakes and they wait and hope for us to be happy. I know this is true, I have felt my dad although I have never seen him as a spirit. Knowing that he is with me, along with others I have lost along the way, brings peace to me. Give those you love a hug and tell them how much they mean to you, they may be gone tomorrow and you will have lost your chance in this life. - Jackie