Hello new baby boy!!!

Shelby is super excited about our new addition!! We just had the ultrasound yesterday and found out that it is "definitly a boy" (as the doctor stated). I wasnt sure how to take this news because I am dreading having to buy all new clothing for our last child. Shelby currently has 15 bins of clothes packed into the basement and she isnt even 3 yet. I am also scared of boy parts, havent ever had to deal with them ;) Shelby is calling the baby "my baby" and I think she kind of gets it that I have a baby in my belly. Gary gave his usual response to the news, "I said it was going to be a boy so I am not surprised" - even though he had no idea. Its going to be fun to start buying boy toys, heaven knows he doesnt want to play with all of Shelb's Disney Princess crap. We have decided on a name that could still be changed, Rox Tate Larsen. I think it is awesome, not a normal everyday name for sure and one that represents some very successful people. We were trying to get Shelb to say Rox last night but what came out sounded more like the F word than anything else ;) Yay for babies!!

My toddler

Shelby has recently become extremely posessive of EVERYTHING. Today at school she took over a huge pumpkin and decided that it was her pumpkin. She didnt want anyone to touch the pumpkin, look at the pumpkin, talk about the pumpkin or hug the pumpkin. She started yelling and crying because she was so upset at the other kids. I asked her teacher if this happens a lot. She said, "it happens more than it doesnt". Apparently Shelb has a major problem with sharing, hopefully the fetus will help her with this. I asked the director if Shelb's behavior is normal, she told me that its just a stage. Lately everything is Shelby's. "my mommy, my puppy, my bed, my bread, my nilk, my tv, my baby, my blankie, my bottle, my car, my daddy, my lin, my kylo, my apple, my pumpkin, my nana" and on and on. Why are toddlers so narcissistic? I dont remember acting like Shelb when I was 2 ;)

sad news

Shelby's face last wednesday says it all. We found out that Gary's mom had passed away at 3am that morning. The stroke that she had suffered was too massive and damaging to come back from and her heart and body could just not heal. I have not cried this hard in 11 years, since the death of my dad. DeeAnn was a mother to me above all things and she loved Gary and I no matter what the circumstances. She was so very proud of her granddaughter, Shelby, and begged us to visit more often. Now more than ever, I wish we had. Her death was so unexpected and such a shock to all of us. Although Shelby is only 2 and a half, she knew what happened and she cried all week. Whenever she saw me crying she ran to the bathroom and brought back a roll of toilet paper to wipe my eyes with. She hugged me and kissed me and asked me what was wrong. Gary hasnt spoken much about the passing of his mom but he is hurting very much. The support and love from our ward, friends and family has been very much appreciated. DeeAnn was a mother, friend, wife, sister and grandmother that will be sorely missed.

I don't know what to say

On Sunday night Gary and I recieved a phone call stating that Gary's mom, DeAnn, had been rushed to the hospital after falling in the house shortly after returning from a trip to California. We were told that she was unable to move and unable to speak. We waited for more news and ended up going to the hospital at 1am to see her. The outlook, we were told, was grim as she had suffered a stroke due to an occluded artery in the base of the brain. CT and MRI scans showed that her right hemisphere was mostly dead due to the lack of oxygen. She was also found to be a diabetic and heart tests showed a weakened cardiovascular system. Surgery was not an option as her combination of health problems precluded any intervention at the time. She was responsive to us on Sunday night, however, on Monday afternoon she was much less aware of things. Her eyes are closed and she is on oxygen. She will squeeze your hand if you tell her to, but cannot respond in any other way. The prognosis at this point is poor and it looks like we all just have to wait and see what happens. In the event that she comes out of this, she will be paralyzed on the left side and much less cognizant than she was. She probably wont be able to talk and possibly wont be able to open her eyes. Gary's family, friends, and anyone who has ever had the pleasure of knowing DeAnn is devastated by this unfortunate turn of events. I really don't know what to say at this point in time. It is so hard to see everyone so very upset and heartbroken that we may lose one of the most giving, caring and wonderful people I have ever had the pleasure to know. DeAnn has always been so loving and unconditional to me, it already feels like a huge loss. Losing a parent is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life. The pain and emptyness that you feel in their absence is inexplainable. Please keep DeAnn and her family in your prayers,
Jackie.

The hitting problem

Today when I dropped Shelby off at school her teacher pulled me aside and told me that Shelby has a problem with hitting other kids. Its not just a once a day thing, she apparently does it ALL the time. Over the weekend she smacked gary in the face and tried to claw out his eyeball so I can't say that I am surprised by this. The problem seems to be that she struggles communicating with us due to her language skills which are still developing. She must feel the same frustration at school with the kids that are her age - they are able to talk in sentences. I think that its due to all of her ear infections as a baby into year 1. I asked the teacher what I should do about it and she told me not to laugh when she does it. Ok, anybody that knows me knows that I have a hard time not laughing about everything. I am also supposed to hold her arms down and tell her "no" while making eye contact. I am sorry, but I just dont see this working. The little pill just smiles at me and runs away. I think she knows she is doing something that she isnt supposed to do but she is getting a reaction - whether good or bad - and she likes the attention. Gary and I are going to have to make a concerted effort to stop her hitting because I dont like getting talked to at school by the teacher, it sucks.

Feed that Fetus!!

Well another fiscal year is coming to an end and as we say around this time, "happy new year!". I have been working my b-u-t-t off and am SICK of working to say the least. When I get my bonus next month it will be going into savings so that I can take off a measly 2 months for maternity leave. Sometimes being a working mom sucks, but I like the time to myself and I feel like Shelby is learning so much at school that I would be too lazy to teach her at home. I have been feeling rather crappy this week. I think its the stress from work, they hound us in the end of the fiscal year and all I can think about is my production numbers. We built a deck last weekend and are finishing the back yard in the mext 2 weeks so I have been busy at home also. Hopefully I get a picture of the fetus sometime soon so that I can post it on here. I will update on Shelby later!

I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you!!

Little Pony Pictures are here!! Shelby had her picture taken with a pony at school and does every year. Last year she was deathly afraid of the pony and wouldnt get on. This year she was seriously stoked about the pony and didnt want to get off. There are 3 different poses, this is the close up that my phone didnt make look totally blurry. You can see the pony in the other 2 and she has pigtails in one of them and not the hat. I bought the negatives so that I can have copies made. If anyone would like to put in a request, I will do my best to get them to you by Christmas ;) I cant even begin to explain how proud I am of these pictures!! My shelb is so photogenic and gave a nice big smile for all of us. Love you shelby!!

Legacy AWESOME-way!!!!

So on Monday evening after a really really crappy day at work I hit the road at about 5:45 to head home. I got on I-15 from Beck Street and expected traffic to suck as it has for the past 4 years. To my surprise, I flew through Bountiful, Centerville and Farmington with no problem and at a consistent speed of 65-70 mph! This morning it took me longer to get to work

than it took me to get home on Monday! I have not gotten home from SLC in 45 mins for 4 years, since I started working out here. I saw a story on the news last night about all the dead raccoons on the Legacy parkway and I think its worth the dead animals, that may sound bad but I'm not an environmentalist or anything ;) They also said that with less raccoons there will be more birds that can survive in the "wetlands" - so I guess its a catch 22 depending on if you like raccons or birds. I personally dont really care for either of them because one of them steals your food when you are camping and the other one craps on your clean car. I love the legacy!!! It has already improved my relationship with shelby lyn because by the time we get home she isnt tired and mad like usual. Yay!!

happy birthday to mwah!!

Hi everybody, I have been getting questions lately as to what I am doing for my b-day and if I am having a party or whatnot. To answer all yers questions: no party, no whatnot. I am very depressed about turning...brace yourself....28 years of age. Maybe its the overload of progesterone, maybe its the fatness that I feel like everyday, maybe its the super fatigue that has smitten me. Not sure why but I'm def not excited about my b-day this year. Usually bdays are cool and I get way stoked about them, not so this time around. Gary has to work tomorrow on my bday night, which makes me want to ignore the bday anyways. Thanks to all of you that have said sweet things for my bday and special shout out to Lyn/Kyle for the Juno CD and trav/dani for the kickA card and andes mints! All presents are preciated!

SKELETOR BABY!!!

Yes, that is the baby's face that you can see in the above picture. Looks like a baby skeletor from castle grayskull! My doctor thought it was the funniest picture ever so she printed me one out and I scanned it into my computer. Although its kind of creepy, I cant stop looking at it! I put it on my phone as the wallpaper and Shelby was royally ticked that her picture wasnt on there anymore. I have recently been thinking about this new child and wondering if I will be able to love it as much as I love my Shelb. I love to spoil her and dress her cute and primp her hair, hopefully I will be the same with skeletor ;)

The big girl bike!!

Well shelby is officially 2 and a half now and is such a cute little girl! We decided it was high time we bought her a trike so we trucked on over to Walmart to check out the goods. Shelby sat on about ten different trikes until she settled on the good old Radio Flyer - pink and purple and a beautiful piece of work! As you can see from the pictures she hasnt quite gotten the hang of it yet, maybe its because her legs are short. She had lots of fun pushing it around the driveway instead of riding it. The newest addition to the Shelby vocabulary is, "oh gosh". I am not sure where she got it but its the cutest thing in the world to hear. Shelby has also started playing the piano daily and singing right along with her made up tunes. She flips through the hymn book and acts like she is playing every page, its quite entertaining. Now that the weather has cooled off a bit I am going outside later at night and taking the shelb on walks. Its so nice to get out of the house, it has been one heck of a hot summer! To update you all on the fetus, it is doing well and not making me as sick as it was a few weeks ago. I still struggle with how much to eat before I feel like crap. I am also finding that a few sips of Dr Pepper every half our or so makes my tummy feel much better. For all of you that want to lecture me on drinking caffeine while pregnant, I really dont care right now. I didnt drink anything but water with Shelby and she is still crazy and off the wall. I am just doing what the fetus tells me to ;)

getting better!!

For the last few weeks I have been feeling rather bad for myself and have had a rather bad attitude about being pregnant. I was SO happy when I found out that we were expecting, that only lasted about a week though. The nausea set in, the puking began and the extreme fatigue started to take over my life. I have somewhat of a recollection of this happening last time, although it started much earlier and was much worse. I have been stewing for the past few weeks about the meaning of life. I have been asking myself, "I go to work, I come home and I go to bed. Then I do it all again the next day. Whats the point?". I know, super bad attitude. This week I came into work to find a sign taped to my computer screen that was basically a word of advice from my friends to buck up. Of course I was annoyed at first but then began to realize that I am taking this much to seriously. The meaning of life is whatever we make it!!! The answer came to me today! My growing fetus and my 2 year old child are unique and special individuals that will only be conceived and born ONE time! They will only live this life ONE time! Its my responsibility (and one I should be grateful for) to raise them the best I can so that they can experience what life is all about. I imagine that one day my little Shelby will come to me when she is 9 weeks pregnant and sick as a dog and ask me "what is the meaning of life?". And I will say to her, "you are the meaning of life, my children are the meaning of life". And hopefully with that answer the puking and the nausea will seem insignificant, if only for a moment. I have gotten way to wrapped up in how I feel lately, which may be hormonal, and have forgotten that this is an experience I should treasure. As long as I have people that support me and tell me everything will be alright, I will believe it ;)

The bullshiz BMI chart!

pregorexia...

For about the last week I have been stewing about something that my FNP said to me on my first prenatal visit. She said, "just so you know, you only have about 5 or 10 pounds left to gain with this pregnancy so you should probably start exercising or something." I was stunned! As I sat there in disbelief I thought to myself, "what the crap does she know?". Apparently on the bullshiz BMI chart I am in the overweight category- barely. I lost a ton of weight this year, I was down to 155 just one month ago when I found out I was carrying my 2nd little bundle of joy. I have not done anything differently, I have exercised and eaten well, I am just getting a little bit fluffier is all. I told my friend about this bad experience and she sent me an email about "pregorexia". Go ahead and google it my friends, it is real. The definition is something like caring too much about your weight and physical image more than your growing fetus to the level that you actually cause your child malnutrition and low birth weight. Clearly this is a mental thing that carries over to a physical problem. Now I am not professing to be a skinny little prego girl but I certainly dont think of myself as a fatty patty either. I care about my child getting nourishment and therefore I eat 6 small meals a day and drink TONS of water. If that causes me to be in the overweight category then so be it, I would rather have a healthy child and lose the weight later, which I know I can do because I have done it. I took a sideview pic of myself today so that you could all see my "overweight" and hot bod! LMK what you think about my FNP's comment!

bad reflexes

Hello everyone,
I have to tell a quick and somewhat funny story of my life since finding out I am pregnant. Last week I ran into the post at work twice. Not once but TWICE. Yes, I was in my new car and did some damage to the back passenger wheel well. I do not know what my deal is, I blame bad reflexes due to pregnancy. Also, I have noticed lately that drivers are a bit more edgy than usual. Maybe its my black tinted windows or my ability to sneak into small crevices, but people seem to be getting really mad at me lately when I am driving. This morning I was trying to get off of the 4th south exit which requires a rather quick lane change and a lot of ground to cover in a small amount of time. I saw an opening and I sped up to take it. The biotch in the car in front of me slammed on her brakes, apparently in an attempt to not let me over. I am not even sure why she did this because she got in the other lane and didnt even take the exit. When we were even with one another (she slowed down significantly to be able to be next to me) she flailed her arms all over and yelled directly at me. I dont want to know what she said but it really caught me off guard and I cant figure out why she is all of the sudden a traffic nazi. I am only bothered by this because I could have run into the back of her causing a major pile up thanks to her idiotic driving - my reflexes suck and I have a 2 year old in the car. Just because my windows are tinted does not mean that I am a single, non pregnant person with no kids in the car. It just means that my child is extremely white and absolutely hates the sun to hit her at all - thus my investment in tinting. I guess that the reason for this post is for me to vent a little bit and remind everyone that we should all drive defensively - we never know if there are kids in the car. I dont know about you, but I dont want to be responsible for a child dying because I decide to be a jerk driver one day.

life and death in the larsen family

Hello everyone, thought I would update you all on the above title of this blog entry. Gary and I found out last week that we will be welcoming our second child into this world around April 1, 2009! We were so stoked about this news and have been waiting for this for months. Yes, it was totally planned and we are so excited! In the event that we have a boy this will more than likely be the conclusion of the Gary/Jackie clan. In the event that we have a girl there is a possibility that we may try one more time for a boy in a few years. Last Thursday we received a phone call letting us know that Gary's grandpa Hadley had passed away. This news was bittersweet as we all knew how badly he wanted to be with his wife that passed away in a car crash in 1996. Grandpa Hadley blessed all of our lives and we will miss him but we know that he is finally happy and free from the cares of this world. The funeral was a good reminder to me of how to treat our spouses and children. It is of the utmost importance that we let our families know how much we love and value them in our time with them on this earth. We do not know when we will be called back to heaven so we must make the most of everyday we are given. I like to think of death as a gorgeous sunset. The sun will set on our lives but it is a beautiful thing and no one sunset is the same. Although the sun will set on our lives, the sun will rise in our children's lives - watch the Lion King, it does a great analogy of this. Thanks to all friends and family and for all the support and prayers, we love you all and hope to see you next spring when we welcome little Tate/Tatum into our lives!

THE BIG GIRL BED!!

The shelb has graduated from her crib to the big girl bed!! Yay for Shelby!!

bonk!

LAST THRUSDAY WE TOOK A LITTLE TRIP TO THE DINOSAUR PARK IN OGDEN. WE WALKED AROUND, BOUGHT A 30 FREAKIN DOLLAR DINOSAUR, MET SOME MASSIVE AND MEAN LOOKING DINOSAURS AND ATE DINO DOGS. WE DECIDED TO WRAP UP THE EXPERIENCE BY GOING TO THE DINO PLAYGROUND. SHELBY HAD TONS OF FUN GOING UP AND DOWN THE SLIDES AND CLIMBING ON ALL THE DINOSAURS. WE WERE SITTING WATCHING SHELB GO DOWN THE STEPS OF THE PLAYGROUND AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN SHE JUST FACE PLANTED ON THE STEPS. SHE SCREAMED LIKE I HAVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE! HER HEAD HAS FINALLY BECOME THAT GREENY PURPLE COLOR AND I'VE BEEN GETTING SOME LOOKS FROM PEOPLE. TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION - I DO NOT BEAT MY CHILD ;) IF ANYTHING, SHE BEATS ON ME...AND GARY...AND PROBABLY SOME OF THE KIDS AT SCHOOL.

My shelb

summer, sweet summer

sunset at the pond

Shelby, Lyndee and I visited the duck pond last night. We got attacked by 2 rather large families of geese wanting our bread. Shelby was so daring, she walked right up to the edge of the pond to get closer to the ducks and geese. I love to spend time with her, even if it means that she stays up late ;) She's so much fun to be with, I feel like the luckiest mom in the world to have her.

Happy Father's Day!

Yesterday at school Shelby learned about daddy's and things that they do. She learned about face shaving (which is actually something she has never seen Gary do since he has had a beard since she was born). When we got home last night she decided to try out her new skill in the tub. Dont worry, there is no blade in the razor (I know there are people freaking out)! She did a pretty spiffy job I must say! Happy father's day daddy, we love you!

SHELBY WAN KENOBI

Ok, the latest and greatest blog update is now here. Shelby is obsessed with her orange towel and really anything orange in general. She will not take it off after she gets out of the tub or shower and walks around looking like ObiWan Kenobi. I think she is doing little Jedi mind tricks on me, actually I know she is...sneaky little thing. Also, whenever she is in the vicinity of a camera lately she does this huge cheese face like you can see in the pic. Its freakin funny! Oh, and speaking of the orange obsession that we have going on, I found an orange matchbox car in her bed (crib) the other morning - she was laying on top of it. How she got it in there without me knowing it is beyond my comprehension, its those jedi mind tricks I tell ya. Anyway, work sucks as usual, I have been in trainings this week that have almost bored me to death. Gary injured his back and so has been in lots of pain and not very fun to be around. Its affecting his work also, so that sucks. At least I know that at 5pm every day Shelby will be stoked to see me, I look forward to that ;)

Ugh work.

Thursday, boring Thursday. I am sitting in my office being totally bored even though I have TONS of work that needs to be done. I was off yesterday (took a mental health day) and so now I am just not in the working mood. I had to blur the pic of my office a little for confidentiality reasons. I look a little pissy but thats just my normal look ;) I'm so glad tomorry is Friday, I'm sick of being at work this week.

Current Pics!!!!!

Shelby was completely enthralled with the Blues Clues movie she was watching on the long drive home from SLC. Dont worry, she snapped out of it and we played in her pool when we got home! Just want everyone to know that i have lost 35 pounds since Shelby was born!! Woot woot!! I'm very proud of myself, I go to the gym 2-3 times a week!! If you are wondering why there are no pictures of Gary on here recently that is because he is a butt and wont let me take his picture - like are we in junior high or what?? ;)

Memorial Day Tribute to Daddy

Memorial Day has historically been a bad day for me. This year was a little different because my family has changed so much. My little Shelby is now over 2 and her big blue eyes remind me of him everyday. She carries his picture around the house and seems to know what I am talking about when I say his name. Its amazing how close children are to the spirit world. We visited the cemetary like we do every year and took pictures, they will be posted as soon as I pull them off my camera. This year Memorial Day brought a new perspective to my life. I realized that I needed to step back and look at "the big picture", meaning that I needed to think of every day as if it were my last. The song that best describes how I felt is Tim McGraw's "Live like you were dying". I also heard Reba's "The greatest man I never knew" and this brought me to tears thinking of how my dad worked up until the day he died. Oh how I wish I could have one more day on this earth with him, but since that is not possible I have started to make an effort to mend my relationships so that in the event that I leave early, things will be in order. Once someone you dearly love in your life dies you gain a new perspective as to what is most important in life, it has taken me 10 years and I continue to learn every day. My anger at him for leaving has changed to a feeling of happiness that he does not have to be a part of this evil world that continues to get worse and worse. I read a scripture the other day that stated something to the effect that the spirits of the spirit world are around us, they feel our pain, they feel our sadness and see our mistakes and they wait and hope for us to be happy. I know this is true, I have felt my dad although I have never seen him as a spirit. Knowing that he is with me, along with others I have lost along the way, brings peace to me. Give those you love a hug and tell them how much they mean to you, they may be gone tomorrow and you will have lost your chance in this life. - Jackie

OH MY CRAP! ITS BEEN 2 YEARS!

Well it appears that i have not posted to my freaking awesome and terribly popular blog for 2 years now. Kids can make time fly by, seriously. I'm just going to post a quick update for those that i havent seen in awhile. Shelby turned 2 in March, we remodeled our house, gary got his long awaited 65 inch flatscreen, i got a new car, we are planning to get pregnant this summer with child #2 - which will be the last of the Jackie/Gary clan. We already have the name whether its a boy or girl - Tate! I still work for SSA doing disability claims, Gary still works for Greene's Inc cutting concrete and Shelby still goes to the fabulous YWCA Lollie Eccles daycare where she is now learning chemistry 2010 and pre med courses. We are very happy in our own little Larsen world. We dont leave the house much, mainly for groceries or I take shelby to the duck pond for a bike ride. We love our life, no complaints at this time! More posts to come...